Grow up, Kim Jong-un

By Craig Hastings
“Give me money or I’ll nuke your country.” North Korea’s most spoiled child, Kim Jong-un, has been playing too much Xbox live. He certainly isn’t living in reality if he believes by threatening the rest of the world he will be gifted anything he wishes. Someone needs to tell this kid you don’t get to come back to life and spawn somewhere else when you die.

Of course, for 40 years this is the game his expired father had played, but with a bit more subtlety. Kim Jong seems to love living in the limelight of all the worldwide publicity he has been getting of late. He has ordered bits and pieces of North Korea’s military forces be moved closer to the southern border, and publicly announced that the country will fire up a couple of old nuclear weapons manufacturing research facilities. These facilities were part of a past trade deal with the rest of the world … shut them down and in exchange, North Korea reaped cash and trade agreements from America and others. Jong evidently feels those deals were his father’s, therefore he isn’t obligated to comply.

So what’s next? Will this brat dare fire the first shot, or will Dennis Rodman and President Obama save the day at the 11th hour? Am I alone on the Rodman invitation, believing there was and is a hidden comical slant with that whole deal? I’m thinking, had Bill Clinton still been in office, the invitation might have gone out to one of the guys on “Duck Dynasty.”

Whatever it is Jong wants from us isn’t being talked about much, if he has indeed made a demand. This is one news event I would prefer not to hear much about anymore, with the hope Kim Jong would just shut his mouth and go back to eating too much cake. I believe he records and watches himself over and over on national news broadcasts.

Some experts believe we are headed for a major conflict with North Korea, which currently has the fifth largest military in the world. If China stays out of the fray, it won’t matter how large their military might be. It will be reduced in half in short order. The fear of wiping out innocent civilians in times of war won’t be near the concern here. About 75 percent of the population is tied to the military effort. Seems you don’t get to eat much if you’re not contributing to the military cause in North Korea.

South Korea will surely take a hit before a military reprisal comes from the United States. I believe the world will wait for Kim Jong to take the first swing before swiftly sitting him on his backside. Once that happens, Jong will cry foul, whine like a baby, and claim victory. Sadly, the citizens of North Korea will revel in him more than before the conflict, because the only news they know is what their own government feeds them.

Should this scenario play out, I’m sure the United States will take the lead role in rebuilding all of what we might have destroyed … the same thing we seem to do wherever we do battle in the world. This will further convince the North Koreans they must have won, because their leader Kim Jong-un has forced the United States to fix what they broke. This time we’ll borrow the money from China, I’d guess.

I think we could bring the North Koreans to their knees without firing a shot. I say we lay out the cash for a chain of Dennis Rodman tattoo parlors throughout their country, and force the citizens of North Korea to implement Obama Care. This should convince them we are just as nutty as they are, so maybe then they would stop with all the nuke threats.
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